Reader, I had the flu. Or something. I had it badly. I was sick for two+ weeks. Everyone I know also had the flu (or something) and was sick for two+ weeks. This particular flu (or something) had the following unique characteristics (in my case, at least):
- My temperature got so high I couldn't feel my hands or feet.
- Normally I never get a fever, ever.
- But this time my fever was 105ºF.
- I stopped taking my temperature when it was 105ºF.
- I had to control it with staggered doses of Tylenol and Advil in order to avoid having concerned family members call an ambulance for me.
- The skin on my lips and in my ears turned red and peeled off.
- The skin on the palms of my hands dried up and peeled off.
- And itched.
- Something happened to my hair
- It got horribly brittle and dry, no matter what kinds of (expensive!) keratin & jojoba oil & esters of goat milk & other shit I put on it.
- I cut it all off, Victorianly.
- It's not quite BBC Sherlock: The Early Years, but I can see that haircut from here.
- I took 2000mg of augmentin a day for ten days + cough syrup + chlorpheniramine maleate and I have just now started feeling like I am human again.
- All the housework was waiting for me :[
I am posting that goddamned Uprooted review right this minute, because I am starting to believe it's cursed.
ONE OF US IS CERTAINLY CURSED, READER.
(I hope it's the Uprooted review.)